Today is a difficult day. Today we had to say goodbye to Brad and let him pass from this world to the next.
Brad was a 24 year old brain tumor fighter in my brain tumor support group. I didn’t know him intimately, but at least for me, being in a group such as this, it creates a different feeling of closeness than other groups. Brad had a tumor out about 10 years ago, and had been diagnoses with another not long ago. What I admired about him was that while he would talk about his treatment and symptoms, and how radiation had changed since he last experienced it, he never really complained about it. He would be tired some days, but still seemed pretty upbeat for being entirely wiped out.
First hearing he was in the hospital really hit me hard. I hear that in these groups, specifically brain tumor groups, they can sometimes be difficult to be a part of because its hard to watch the people you’re close to die. And its hard when it happens with some regularity. And I think its especially hard to watch that happen when you know it could be your own fate as well. For me, it also made me think back to my own mother’s death from cancer, which was difficult. And Brad was the first of my group members for me to experience their death.
But it also made me upset because due to some trips and some work, I had missed some of the groups. I wasn’t there for the passed 4 groups. I missed spending that time not only with Brad, but with everyone else, and that time is precious. Of course I’m not going to beat myself up about how I’ve spent my time, because much of it was time well spent, but it also reminds me about how much I value my group time and the people there.
So here I’m taking a moment for Brad, and his family, and my group, and everyone else that needs and extra moment. You’re welcome to join me in it.